Phineas and Ferb Porno Story: Glad Bday Jeremy Chapter Two

Finally,
it was time for the party. In desperation, Candace has thrown
together some cheesy poem, which she wrote in the waiting room at the
hair salon. She copied the poem into a small but sturdy card she
bought at a stationery store. She looked at it and sighed. Great,
she muttered to herself. Stacey saved up the money to get Jeremy a
new skateboard, Phineas and Ferb have a gigantic, high-tech card, and
Suzy doesnt even need to but her precious
older
brother a gift since he loves her so much. And me, I have a lame card
and a stupid poem. Oh, Im going to be the laughing stock of the
whole party!

Hey,
Candace! Are you ready to go yet? Linda came peeking in. Phineas,
Ferb, and Stacey are all waiting downstairs for you!

The
redheaded teen sighed. Coming, she said.

On
the car ride over to Jeremys house, she looked down at her card
one last time and sighed. Suddenly, Stacey looked over at her and saw
the card. Hey, whats that? she asked.

This?
Oh, this is, um, just some spa brochure of my moms. It was lying
on the floor, she replied hurriedly.

Stacey
shrugged. Hm. Whatever. She started rambling about her
skateboard for Jeremy. Oh, Candace, Jeremy, is going to, like,
love it! Its got these shiny gold wheels and everything! The box
says it performs all the best tricks really well. Its too bad you
didnt get him anything.

Candace
sighed. The night was going to be so miserable.

OK,
kids, get out of the car! Linda said as she pulled up to the
Johnsons house. As they stepped out, they could already hear
speakers blasting in the backyard. The four kids walked in and rang
the doorbell. And, of course, Suzy opened the door. Hi, guys! The
party is in the back. She took Phineas, Ferbs and Staceys
coats. As the three of them walked out to the back, Suzy grabbed
Candaces arm.

So,
you actually decided to show up? Please tell me you didnt bother
getting him a lame present.

Um,
no. I actually didnt, she said, hiding the card behind her back
and crossing her fingers. Suzy saw it and grabbed for it.

Are
you kidding me? Thats
the
present youre thinking about giving him? She read the poem
aloud. Lots of people around us are average, useless folks, but
youre much better, and dont make a fuss, because youre as
silly as egg yolks!

Candace
hung her head. Is it that bad?

Suzy
was about to say some rude comment about the cheesy poem, but then
she stopped for a moment. She looked deep in thought.

Candace
stared at her. Suzy? Hello, you there? Say something! Candace
waved her arms in front of the little girls face.

All
of a sudden, a wide grin spread across Suzys face. You know, it
is a pretty bad poem, coming from you. After all, youre just a
person to Jeremy. But he adores me, and, well, if I gave him this
poem, hed love it! Hold on. Let me just go upstairs.

She
went up, and came down in a few moments. In her hand was a piece of
construction paper with red crayon on it.

There
we go, Suzy said. If I put this with the rest of the gifts,
hell think that I wrote it, not you! Hell see you here and not
think you have anything. And I will win this battle!

Candace
gave her a dirty look and walked down the hall to the backyard. She
sat down on the patio and put her head in her hands. No one was able
to get her up, not even Stacey, to dance with her when Ready for
the Bettys came on.

But
Candace! Stacey moaned, pulling her arm. We helped write it,
remember? Its only fair that we dance to it!

Candace
broke free from Staceys grip and slumped down on the ground.
Whatever. Just call me when Jeremy opens his presents, OK?

Stacey
was slightly concerned, but she shrugged. OK. Well, Ill do just
that.

Candace
was free for the next half hour. She wondered what would happen when
Jeremy saw the card from Suzy. He would probably think it was
adorable. His parents would probably love it, too. Worst, he would
probably laugh at her for being too lazy to get him anything. She
just hoped he didnt think it was because she didnt have the
money. That
would be more embarrassing than anything! Candace
thought forlornly.

But
on the other hand, Candace realized, having Suzy give him the poem
would save her a lot more embarrassment. She knew Jeremy was going to
be opening the presents in front of everyone, and she knew that
absolutely no one would let her hear the end of it if they found out
she wrote that poem.

Hey, Candace! Ever think of joining the poetry
club? We could probably use you, just so you could make us look less
intimidating.

Hey,
Candace! Can you help me get the guy I want? I mean, I know since
youre lovey-dovey all the time, I figured you could help me write
himmaybe a love letter?

Candace?
CANDACE!

Candace jumped suddenly. Stacey was
tugging on her arm. Candace, didnt you hear me? Jeremy is
opening his presents now. You told me to get you when he did.

Oh,
yeah, I did, Candace said, snapping back to attention. She
followed her best friend inside.

It
was 9:30 by then. Since several people had to go home, there were
only about twenty leftenough to fit in the Johnsons living
room.

Candaces
embarrassment increased with each nice gift that Jeremy opened. He
especially loved Staceys skateboard. Candace groaned.

Finally,
after about ten minutes, Jeremy finally noticed the card. He opened
it, and read the poem aloud. Everyone thought it was cute, of course,
since they all thought that Suzy wrote it. Everyone loved Suzy.

As
Jeremy read aloud the last line of the poem, however, his face looked
odd. Candaces lit up. Suzy was so busted!

Well,
I guess thats the last of the presents, Jeremy said. Now
that thats over, lets go back to the party! he announced,
that funny, confused look still plastered on his face.

Hey,
Candace! Can I talk to you a moment? Jeremy asked. He looked
pained.

Suddenly,
Candace lost all hope that Jeremy knew what she was talking about.
Dont say it, she said. Youre mad at me because I
didnt but you a good present, right?

Jeremy
just smiled. You wrote that poem, didnt you? he asked. I
know you did. I know Suzy wasnt there the day you came over to
help me bake cookies for the bake sale and

You
started making the eggs talk to each other? Candace finished. She
remembered the day clearly. It was several months ago, and Suzy was
at Mindys. Candace had come over to help with a school bake sale
that was going on that week; she and Jeremy were in charge of baking
the cookies. They had to bake for a while, and while the two kids
were waiting, Jeremy randomly picked up a couple of eggs and made
them start talking to each other. He and Candace had thought it was
hilarious. She had subconsciously put an inside joke into her poem!

Candace
giggled. Umyeah. Suzy stole it from me when I walked in the
door. Shes always trying to sabotage my time with you, you know?

Jeremy
thought for a moment. Yeah, I noticed. Its kind of sad,
actually. She doesnt get a lot of attention at home, because our
parents are always working, so she relies on me instead. But I
probably should have a talk with her when it comes to hanging out
with other people. Shes not the center of my world. If
anything, I want you to be.

Jeremy
gulped. You
can do it! Keep going! he
told himself. I like you a lot, Candace. Almost
there

You do? Like a girlfriend?
Candace blurted out, then turned as red as her hair.

Jeremy
grinned. Yeah, like a girlfriend. Exactly like that. So, um

Do
you want to go out with me on Saturday? Candace asked suddenly.

Jeremy
frowned suddenly. Ill talk to Suzy about it first, but sure.
He smiled. Im just going to make sure she has plans. She
certainly wont ruin our date if I can help it.

Candace
breathed a sigh of relief. Thanks, Jeremy, she said.

Dont
mention it. Now, Im going to go give Suzy a lecture. You just go
enjoy the rest of the party, all right?

Will
do! Candace exclaimed. She then ran outside to dance with the
remaining party guests.

Meanwhile,
Jeremy walked upstairs to Suzys room, where his little sister was
contentedly brushing her dolls hair.

Hi,
Suzy! Hows it going? Jeremy asked.

Its
going good, Suzy said. She decided to kick up the cuteness level a
bit. Did you like my poem? she asked.

Jeremy
groaned. Lecturing his way-too-adorable,
attention-and-affection-lacking sister was going to be just a little
bit harder than he thought, but he pushed himself through it.

I
know you didnt write that poem, Suzy.

Suzy
turned slightly pale, but she didnt lose that innocent face. What
do you mean, Jeremy?

I
know you stole Candaces poem and made me think that you wrote it.
Do you know that doing that is wrong?

Suzy
ignored his last comment. What? Now, who told you that? she
asked. Was it Candace? She shook her head. That girl never
tells the truth, she said, mentally coming up with yet another
torture device for the evil redheaded teen.

Jeremy
shook his head. Well, when I asked Candace, she did confirm it,
but I figured it out on my own. Suzy, do you know what Candace was
talking about when she wrote the thing in the poem about silly egg
yolks?

Suzy
paused. NoI guess I dont. What was she talking about?

Well,
its a long story. But long story short, it was an inside joke.
Looks like you didnt plan your revenge very carefully now, dont
you agree?

Hearing
Jeremy say that her idea was bad and careless made her madder than
being caught itself. What? But I have lots of good ideas. See?

She
reached out from under her bed and pulled out her portfolio filled
with diagrams and schemes for destroying Candaces life. Heres
the one where I made her mess up on the rollerblading tournament
thing, and the time where I put a whoopee cushion on her chair when
she came over for dinner, and She stopped suddenly, realizing
what she was doing. I meanyeah, it wasnt very well thought
out.

Jeremys
eyes were wide as he looked through the folder. He had no idea just
how mean Suzy had been.

How
come you did this, Suzy? Jeremy asked gently, but her was actually
furious. Candace is a nice girl.

Even
at this point, Suzy still kept her charm. Well, I didnt want
you hanging out with Candace. Shes not your favorite
little
girl, is she? Her eyes filled with fake terror at the thought of
not being Jeremys favorite girl anymore.

Jeremy
sighed. Suzy, Im allowed to care about more than one person.
Youre my little sister, and shes my girlfriend. Thats right,
shes my girlfriend now. Were going out to dinner on Saturday,
and you are going to stay here. Is that understood?

Suzy
nodded. Yes, I understand, she said. Im sorry I got
jealous. I love you, but I know you can love Candace, too. Ill
stop trying to keep you away from her, she insisted, and threw her
whole portfolio in the trash to prove it.

Jeremy
grinned. Thats great to know, Suzy. And hey, well still
spend time together on Friday night, OK?

All
right! I cant wait!

Jeremy
nodded and closed the door.

Suzy
grinned evilly. Maybe I wont try to keep her away from Jeremy,
but I can still embarrass her, anyway!

She
took out a fresh piece of paper. At the top of it, she wrote:
OPERATION: Baby Pictures.